I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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