My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
