Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
