I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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