so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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