so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize