They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
