Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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