his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
