Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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