Having a random hookup so left but love u
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
