summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm just crazy horny about you
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
