if i can run in heels then i can drive
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
