haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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