i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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