I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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