it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
