Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
