tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
its not stalking. its research.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
