well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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