brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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