Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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