Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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