All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
