did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
