Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
