I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
