you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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