i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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