Don't make out with my wife yet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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