i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
