my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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