Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Text me some of your sweat
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
