They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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