i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
