I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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