and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize