I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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