so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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