She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
