She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
