eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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