Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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