I will die if light touches me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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