Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck me I smell like cheese
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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