your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize