I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize