If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
