trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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