I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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