I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
