if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
