Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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