You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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