where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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