You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
