She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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