she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
