Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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