tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
