there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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