If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I deserve this hangover.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize