week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
