You really coming over, don't trick.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize