covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
