Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
