Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
