it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
